


Turning

by Filidh



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:46:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filidh/pseuds/Filidh
Summary: Nicole's reflections 5 years after losing Waverly, and the last shred of normalcy in her life. (Spoilers for the Season 3 finale)





	Turning

It’s been 5 years. 

1,825 days.

43,800 minutes.

It’s been 5 years since Nicole’s life was ripped apart. 

And now this is her new life.

During the day she works as “Sheriff”. Really Nedley does all the work. She just does what she’s told. Endless, mind numbing paperwork that sometimes almost tricks her into believing everything is normal. She is the perfect picture of a civil servant. Picking up Wynonna when she drinks too much and driving her home. Enduring the shouting and drunken insults. She is the picture of grace and perseverance. Outwardly, she is a saint.

And then night falls.

And the horns piercing her heart throw off the halo over her head.

No one knows. No one really cares to ask. Nicole’s demeanor, though composed, radiates an unsettling calm, and she finds that lately people tend to steer clear of her. That’s fine with her. They reek of pity and that’s one thing Nicole cannot handle. She carefully holds the pieces of the shattered mirror together during the day. 

At night she shatters, violent sharp pieces exploding, ready to eviscerate anyone who gets too close. She holds her knees to her chest and rocks. 

She doesn’t scream.

Doesn’t cry anymore. 

Just rocks.

She rocks until the sun comes up. And then she slowly pulls the pieces back together, arranging them just so. And she goes back to work.

Sometimes her work still involves hunting demons.

Bulshar broke the Earp curse but the Garden of Eden was still a powerful lure for any and every demon that could make their way to it. Wynonna was the guardian but Wynonna spent more time drinking that guarding these days.

And so sometimes she finds herself in the fray as well. Sometimes she is the one to dispatch the demons. Most things can’t be killed, except with Peacemaker. But some are weaker, or more vulnerable to other weapons.

Nicole relishes those.

The feelings frighten her, in her lucid moments. The bloodlust and cruelty is foreign to her. She fought many demons with the Earps. But she never _liked_ it. She liked protecting the dynamic duo. 

Now she lived for the look of fear in their eyes as the blood left them. 

Maybe it was a good thing Waverly was gone.

It would break her heart to see what she had become. Hard. Cold.

Ruthless.

The shadows in her heart grow every day. The ice inside her chest crackles and creeps and crawls forward inch by inch. And she can feel herself changing. She stopped being able to see the stairs a long time ago. But that didn’t matter anymore. Better not to see it. The place where she let them all down one last time.

Maybe it was a good thing Waverly was gone.

After all.

She was an angel.

And Nicole?

She was damned the moment those doors slammed shut.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is sort of my first foray into Wynonna Earp writing. Yes I know I haven't updated by other works in aaaages but applying to medical school will do that to you. This isn't really anything important, just sort of trying to find the characters' voices and also I was INTRIGUED at how Nicole might react when she realized that she hadn't been there to help or even say goodbye during the finale. Sorry if its short or oddly spaced, again just me trying to feel out if I can find their voices to write more (maybe happier) stuff for this fandom too.
> 
> This is cannon with the theory going around that only the "good" people could see the stairs btw.
> 
> Oh, and I wrote this listening to Through the Valley by Shawn James if you wanna have a listen while you read.


End file.
